Morrissey Internet Chat
KROQ.Com, Los Angeles, CA - September 29, 1999

Films?
You should see 'Nil By Mouth', but not if you're feeling particularly happy.

Play pianer?
I only play with my elbows.

Next album?
The next album has been written but has yet to be recorded because I'm waiting to find a new deal. But the songs are the best yet.

El Vez?
I love El Vez. I wanted him to come to England and to Europe. He's influenced me greatly.

Touring?
It's the best part of being involved in music. Because it's the most free part.

Johnny Marr playing with Beck at Coachella?
It's incredibly untrue.

Reunion with Marr?
Not even on the darkest nights.

Feminist?
I'm a masculinist.

Favorite song to sing?
It's called "Reader Meet Author".

Sex symbol?
Always.

Rap Music?
There's no melody (sigh).

Cover songs?
There are so many. So many. (laughs)

'90's bands?
Predictably, I feel very little towards them. Everybody really does seem to do the same thing.

Clothes? ("They rock!")
Oh God, my clothes do not rock, ever. Nowhere special. How can clothes rock?

Sex, Drugs or Rock 'n' Roll?
Rock 'n' Roll, because it is the other two.

Being approached at shows?
It never makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm very trusting of people, unless I know them.

Most people plastic?
Most people aren't even that genuine.

Life?
It won't last.

Copycat bands?
They do it so badly.

Hallmark of a good songwriter?
A complete disregard for the music industry.

Coming up with lyrics?
I do a hell of a lot of eavesdropping. So watch out, I could be standing behind you right now.

New Year's Eve?
I'll be sitting on babies... I mean, babysitting.

Animal or vegetable?
The animal and the vegetable, that I am.

Going to the moon?
Skip.

Why KROQ?
Is this Richard Blade?

Someone special?
Me. Just think of all the money I save while dining out.

Favorite line?
This story is old, I know, but it goes on.

Fan websites?
I'm told about them, without having to read them. I have a web site slave.

"Kit"?
It was never released. It's a little irrelevant.

Working with Bowie again?
As what?

Punk music?
Always, especially the Cockney Rejects.

Message for fans?
Help me!

Free time?
Yes, I make scarves and gloves.

Favorite designer?
I'm a Gucci baby.

Sense of humor?
My sense of humor has never been noticed.

Music after 39?
Oh, definitely.

Love life?
I'm waiting for you, Hulmerist25.

Contacting?
There's no sure way, there's no official way. I don't actually exist.

Fame?
Yes, it's made me more normal. Especially in Scottsdale.

Neil Tennant?
Yes, I'm working on his hair.

Smaller label?
I would definitely consider signing with a smaller label. Bigger does not necessarily mean better.

Career without singing?
I wouldn't have a career.

Food?
I certainly don't eat animals or fish, and I never will.

Family thinks of success?
They think it's very peculiar.

New song titles?
There's no chance of my telling you that whatsoever.

Reading?
Affidavits.

Tribute album?
It wouldn't matter who's on it because if anybody covers your songs, you're incredibly grateful, as long as it's not Britney Spears.

Smiths reunion?
The Smiths is dead boys.

Secret message?
The vest is yet to come.

I'd like to thank everybody for their time. I'd like to thank everybody for sticking around and supporting me. It's been a long haul.

Good night and thank you.

This article was unceremoniously swiped from Morrissey-Solo.
Transcription by Vu.