SINGLE OF THE WEEK (NOT!)
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Morrissey is laughing at me. And you. He is the Tony Hancock of rock who refuses to lie down. Methodically casting aside those who helped make him the greatest pop star of the 1980s, he is now alone but for some inept rockabillys and a cash register inside a cosy nest made of moist fan mail from The Great Uncritical. Don't you just hate it when that happens?
Start your sobbing, this is by far and away the ex-Smith's WORST single. Played alongside it, 'Ouija Board' sounds choppy and inspired. Sure, the ambiguous title allows 30 seconds of salacious conjecture, but that double-bluff "Ha ha ha ha ha ha" non-chorus scores a direct miss, and the sound of five men bashing around in the darkness in search of a tune merely drains you of the will to live. And the live B-side of 'Suedehead' was played by monkeys who clearly hated 'Viva Hate'.
Use the money you save by not purchasing all formats of this record, do yourself a f---ing favour and invest in Morrissey And Marr: The Severed Alliance by Johnny Rogan (Omnibus f14.95). Remind yourself why Morrissey has this peculiar hold over your faculties ie he was in The Smiths, who single-handedly saved a decade, got split up by Danny Kelly and, as individual components, withered on the vine. Moz is history, and we'd all do well to learn it.
- Andrew Collins, New Musical Express, 5/2/92

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