But On The Desk Is Where I Want You!

Alsatian Cousin
Words by Morrissey - Music by Stephen Street

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Morrissey & Stephen Street

Were you and he Lovers?
and would you say so if you were?
on a forecourt
on a Friday
passing my way
Were you and he Lovers?
and if you were, then say that
you were!
on a groundsheet
under canvas
with your tent flap
open wide
A note upon his desk:
"P.S. Bring Me Home And Have Me!"
Leather elbows on a tweed coat
— Oh! —
Is THAT the best you can do?
So came his reply:
"... but on the desk is where
I want you!"
So I ask (even though I know):
were you and he Lovers?

Players
Stephen Street (the bass guitar, guitar)
Vini Reilly (guitars)
Andrew Paresi (drums)

Officially Released Versions
Studio Version: Viva Hate album (March 1988) - Produced by Stephen Street
Live Version: "We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful" single (April 1992) - Recorded live at the Hammersmith Odeon, London, October 4, 1991.

Live History
This song was played regularly during the Kill Uncle tour in 1991 and during the Your Arsenal tour in 1992. It then went on hiatus until it reappeared during the 2002 tour.

Critical Commentary
"Musically, Viva Hate is mixed. What Simon Reynolds referred to recently as Stephen Street's 'producer's sensibility' makes for some gorgeously appropriate settings, but also one or two deferential lapses into mere accompaniment. Best are the likes of 'Alsatian Cousin', in which Morrissey finds himself wheeling in and out of gullish guitars and frantic, airborne effects all pitched at a high level of anxiety... Not all the songs... are so clearly about the recent past - both 'Alsatian Cousin' and 'Suedehead' snoop about the topics of infatuation shame, possibly squalor." - David Stubbs, Melody Maker, March 19, 1988

Comtesse Review (as if you care)
As the opening track to Morrissey's first solo album, Viva Hate, this was the first "Morrissey" song that many of us heard. As such, it had a bit of a lofty height to reach for, and it doesn't live up to it, sad to say. It opens with a funky bass line from Stephen Street and feedback-drenched guitar noise from Vini Reilly, before Morrissey jumps in to muse about the relationship between two unnamed individuals. (With the success of Brokeback Mountain, the line "On a groundsheet under canvas with your tent flaps open wide" takes on a new meaning.) Although the song is interesting, I don't think it's particularly successful, and it stands as one of the weaker tracks from Viva Hate. Morrissey apparently quite likes the song, though, since he surprisingly resurrected it for his 2002 tour. (By the way, steer clear of the appallingly bad live version from the Kill Uncle tour. Th' Lads were NOT prime time players at this stage of the game and it shows.)